Creating a Less Wordy Paragraph

Original Paragraph (106 words)

In comparing the settings of the two photographs, there is a huge disparity in the messages conveyed to the reader. The location of Obama’s public world is in a room surrounded by many different people who appear to be loyal, supportive, and enjoying his presence. He is sitting beside an elderly woman with his arm around her shoulder. Both are smiling and the setting is one of happiness, joy, and celebration. The closed surrounding of his private world is one of solitude and seclusion. The president is alone and appears to be working late into the night as he reflects on the many problems he encounters.

Revised Paragraph (75 words)

Comparing the settings of the photographs, there is disparity in the messages conveyed to the reader. Obama’s public world is a room surrounded by many people appearing loyal and supportive. Seated beside an elderly woman, both are smiling and the setting is one of happiness and joy. Obama’s private world is one of solitude and seclusion. The president is alone and working late into the night as he reflects on the many problems he encounters.

I really enjoyed this activity. It was like taking out pieces of a puzzle and still being able to capture the scene. I do have a tendacy to be wordy with my writing and this will be a great activity for me to use in the future.

Mid-Term Celebration!

Getting through the first half of the semester is definitely a celebration for me! Going back to school after 30 years was a big decision. However, I have truly enjoyed every minute of this adventure. I really did not know what to expect from myself as far as my writing skills go, but I was pleasantly surprised on how well I did on my first few essays. It did not come easy for me; I found myself sitting at my kitchen table for many hours struggling on how to get started. Although the class lectures have been very informative, I have had to do some of my own research in order to have a better understanding of what it takes to be a good writer. Since the first day of the semester until now, I have found that the writing is becoming somewhat easier for me. Even though I speak proper English, one of my biggest obstacles continues to be the use of correct grammar when I write. Speaking proper English is one of my pet peeves, and that’s why I can’t understand why it’s so difficult for me to write using correct grammar. I know with practice it will eventually become more natural for me and I will be able to spend more time researching on the topic of my essays. I have always been a firm believer in setting goals, but being out of school for so many years I really was not sure what a realistic one might be for this class. The goals that I set this semester was to be fully engaged during class, work hard, and put my whole heart into every assignment. I am thankful that my hard work and tenacity is paying off. My goal for the remainder of the semester is to continue to work diligently to improve my weaknesses in my writing skills. I look forward to the second half of this course.

Wordle Design

I've never heard of "Wordle" until now. I really enjoyed looking at the other designs. It's amazing with the words scrambled you can still capture the meaning of the story or the feeling of the creator.

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